Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
