his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
