Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
