He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
