They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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