my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
