Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
