Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
