you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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