help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
