Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
