is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
