that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
