I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
