i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
