Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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