I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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