its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
