wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
