We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
