We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
