seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
