i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
