Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
