I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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