Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
