I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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