Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
