me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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