so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
