he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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