Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
