so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
