i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
