Dual....:-)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
