Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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