so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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