i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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