That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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