He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Drunk walkin through police station. America
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
