you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
