I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
