Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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