girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
