literally had 100 drinks last night.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
