Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
