When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
