How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
