Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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