Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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