The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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